my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
