a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
