wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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