the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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