he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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