Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
