I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
