Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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