Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
