Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
