You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
