so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
