I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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