I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
