you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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