he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
