worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
