No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
