If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
