P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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