Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
