Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
