Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
