Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
