Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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