Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
