Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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