somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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