24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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