You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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