That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
