things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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