you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
