Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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