you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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