I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize