don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
