so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
