i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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