i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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