I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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