i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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