just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
