I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
