Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
