I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
