Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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