you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
