Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
