now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
