It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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