also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
