I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
