Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
