there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
