DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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